day thirty five - smile

4 Feb

The first time I wore my kilt in public was for a tremendously special occasion. My friend, colleague and drumming mentor was playing drums for 24 hours to raise money for a specially modified van for his daughter and her wheelchair. It was an incredibly inspiring and life-changing event and I was so lucky to be host, his PA and official timekeeper.

This set the trend of wearing it for special occasions, and whenever we’d get together, I would wear it.

Next was starting to wear it whilst performing. I’d been too nervous to gig much at all previously, generally confining it to Big Band or orchestral performances - ones when you get to be in a big ensemble, and blend in. But when the opportunity came up to play in duos and trios with one of the best musicians in town, my kilt gave me the courage to say yes, and just enjoy playing.

Soon after I’d start to go to other gigs too, and became known somewhat as ‘the guy in the kilt’. We were even billed as “Jared Buckley & The Kilt”!

These environments were often far more open than normal day to day life, with many of the people I’d interact with being somewhat ‘socially lubricated’. Yes, I’d get ridiculed sometime, but it was largely in good humour and I never felt as though it was meant in a negative manner.

This year however, each new type of situation I’m in has varying degrees of feeling out of place. Many of my neighbours don’t know the purpose of this year for me. When I put the bins out one morning, I would have laid money that the person swerving in their car whilst doing a double-take was about to crash. Heaven help them when I mow the lawns next!

Wearing it down the street whilst doing mundane tasks like grocery shopping has been fascinating if a little intimidating. Some people meet your gaze and smile. Some honk their horn and give a thumbs up as they pass. Others though, look at you like a Dickensian leper, like you may have a contagion that may enter their body should they do anything but cover their face in disdain. This pejorative is their prerogative, but their expressions stay with me like another grain added to an already heavy sack.

One gift these experiences this year have given me is a tiny insight into what it may be like to have people constantly looking at you and judging you. Looking at you because of your gender, or age, or skin colour, or ethnicity, or accent, or disability, or any other of a multitude of ‘reasons’ people look and judge.

How do you deal with this in a healthy and positive way? Umm… I haven’t worked that out yet, but I know how good it feels to receive a smile. Perhaps in future, I’ll just aim to beat them to it.

…smiling activates the release of neuropeptides that work toward fighting off stress (3). Neuropeptides are tiny molecules that allow neurons to communicate. They facilitate messaging to the whole body when we are happy, sad, angry, depressed, or excited. The feel-good neurotransmitters—dopamine, endorphins and serotonin—are all released when a smile flashes across your face as well (4). This not only relaxes your body, but it can also lower your heart rate and blood pressure.
The endorphins also act as a natural pain reliever—100-percent organic and without the potential negative side effects of synthetic concoctions (4).
Finally, the serotonin release brought on by your smile serves as an anti-depressant/mood lifter (5). Many of today’s pharmaceutical anti-depressants also influence the levels of serotonin in your brain, but with a smile, you again don’t have to worry about negative side effects—and you don’t need a prescription from your doctor.
3. Seaward BL. Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being. Sudbury, Mass.: Jones and Bartlett; 2009:258.
4. R.D. (2000). Neural correlates of conscious emotional experience. In R.D. Lane & L. Nadel (Eds.), Cognitive neuroscience of emotion (pp. 345–370). New York: Oxford University Press.
5. Karren KJ, et al. Mind/Body Health: The Effect of Attitudes, Emotions and Relationships. New York, N.Y.: Benjamin Cummings, 2010:461.