day twenty three - couch potato
Twenty two days. Not that I’ve been counting, but that feels like the longest run of feeling good that I’ve had in a really long time. Sure, there have been other periods where I’ve been fair to good in my head, but there have often been sporadic (to long) periods where I’ve been depressed or anxious, or both.
Yesterday, I had a small elective surgery (whilst still wearing a kilt!) resulting in a cricket ball (6 stitches) and being more or less confined to the couch for a few days with no exercise for the next week or two. I was knocked about by the anesthetic and pain killers, I ate poorly and excessively, and was going to be ineligible to donate blood until I recovered. Basically felt lousy. The perfect opportunity for my depression to creep back in.
Today, unfortunately, was much the same.
Having been walking several hours each day, feeling my body physically improve and having the mental space to think and breathe, being stuck for the time being was really getting to me. This afternoon, it gave a chance for those negative thoughts and feelings of doubt creep back in.
This afternoon, knowing that I was due to write a post, I was briefly considering not mentioning that I was feeling down, as if to pretend that I had all that behind me. Ultimately though, that would be disingenuous to myself, the project, and anyone who chooses to read the journal.
Luckily, it was relatively fleeting (certainly in comparison to past episodes), and I’m hoping that by the morning, I’ll be feeling much better. It’s still however, an unwelcome regression.
If anything, it has asserted that, for me, exercise can play an important role in alleviating my mental health issues. Also, having the support of family, friends and the community that is growing around this project really helped me see that whilst today wasn’t great, tomorrow is looking up, and none of us have to be alone in this.
Kilt of the day - A couch potato wrinkled Black and Black Watch Utility Kilt
Soundtrack of the day - I’m a Potato - Small Potatoes
