day ninety-three - 4am
Lately, with everything that has been happening, worries about the global community, the lockdowns, isolation, job insecurity, trying to be a homeschool teacher, online educator, etc, there have been conditions unlike anything I’ve experienced.
My anxiety has been skyrocketing, my self-esteem plummeting, depression worsening, and my public face more glued on than ever.
But over the past few nights, another symptom of this has once again reared its ugly head. Previously, even with the insomnia, once I’ve finally got the bed, I stay there until the morning (not too early mind you). Now, for the first time in several years, I’m getting consistently broken sleep. About 4am, I’ll wake up, disoriented, sometimes with a racing heart, and be a combination of both exhausted and very awake.
You fight for a while, as though through sheer determination you can sleep again, but that makes you even more awake. Sometimes, you make the decision to do something productive if you’re going the be up again, but an addled mind makes productivity impossible. And then, after an hour or two, when the dawns light is beginning to creep across the night sky, and natures alarm clock of birds begin to sing, it’s time again to sleep.
It’s very hard to operate with little to no sleep. Problems get larger, issues grow mountainous, brains slow to a snails pace, and what should be 8 hours of restoration becomes 3-4 hours of half sleep giving only enough energy to push through.
Insomnia, Broken Sleep & Anxiety.
Not recommended.
1 star.
Kilt of the day - A very crumpled Ross Modern Hunting Tartan that I fell asleep in on the couch
Soundtrack of the day - 3am Bounce - No BS! Brass (oh how I wish they were an hour later - time zones yeah?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LXUZ0BfRq8
Link of the day - Counting Sheep - Mr. Bean
