day six hundred and seventeen - is it ok to ask?
There are aspects of R U OK day that fill me with dread. It’s the awkward conversation from someone who isn’t prepared for the answer, from someone that is asking the question, not out of concern but to tick the box, to comply with this new social norm, once a year, on R U OK day. For those vulnerable, already fighting their mental health, being asked a fundamentally crucial question from someone who has no compassion or understanding, possibly in an inappropriate place or time… it’s a nightmare.
So to that end, I’d say, unless you’ve thought it through, as a general rule, don’t ask. Don’t ask me if I’m OK if you don’t care about the answer. Don’t ask if I’m OK if there’s not the proper time to answer. Don’t ask if I’m OK as a flippant exercise to make yourself feel better. Don’t ask without compassion or with judgement. Don’t ask if there’s stigma attached. Don’t ask if it’s in a place or at a time that isn’t a safe place to answer honestly. Don’t ask if the situation or your delivery requires me to lie, yet again, about how I’m doing; to glue the mask of ‘OK’ on just a little stronger.
That’s not to say that the question is bad, or I’m personally against the organisation. Far from it. With your help, we were able to raise quite a lot of money for RUOK day through le Tour de Kilt. It’s just that while it’s been boiled down to 4 letters, the question is SO much bigger than that.
Do ask if you actually care. Do ask if you’ve educated yourself on mental health and the kind of conversations that come from the question. Do ask if you’ve read the situation and assessed it as a safe place to be honest. Do ask if you know some of the support services that are available. Do ask any day of the year.
The resources are available on the RUOK website. Use them. Don’t go into a conversation without preparing yourself, because it just may make the situation worse for the person you’re supposed to be helping.
So… Should you ask RUOK? It’s only my opinion, but before the words fall out of your mouth, it’s an important question to ask oneself - Should I really be asking? Am I prepared for an honest reply? Do I have the time to listen? - , because as much as I love the organisation, there are times when just simply asking R U OK can make things even harder for the person you’re asking it of.
Link of the Day - R U OK?
https://www.ruok.org.au/
Soundtrack of the day - Don’t Speak - No Doubt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3Vdo5etCQ&ab_channel=NoDoubtVEVO
Kilt of the Day - MacLeod Sport Kilt
