day one hundred and sixty-five - made my day lousy

Dirty McSaddy - The Happy Faker

Today, in the same supermarket that I was stopped by a lovely lady to discuss my kilt a week earlier, I heard a comment from a man behind me. It was apparently said to the woman beside him, but certainly loud enough for me to hear.

“Nice dress. F***ing F**got”. It was said with disdain, disgust, almost as though spitting something distasteful from his mouth. Yet he was obviously proud of the sentiment, and in some perverse way, I think it made him feel better, but at what cost?

I was appalled, hurt and angry. Part of me wanted to turn around and punch him in his bigoted, homophobic excuse for a face (Yes. Even pacifists want to punch people in the face sometimes… we just don’t do it). I wanted to do it for me and for everyone that has ever been verbally abused in such a way.

Another part wanted to tell him exactly what was not only incorrect about his assertions, but was also so wrong with the thought process that lead him to think that that was in any way acceptable.

It was however, the part of me that felt the exact same way as I did as a kid, being constantly bullied for apparently being gay. I’d heard the same words, said with the same malice before. So I said nothing. I tried to carry myself with dignity and grace, but those simple words robbed me of my pride, confidence, and feeling of safety.

For me, it was a horrible experience. When he uttered those words, I don’t think he could have possibly known just how bad that interaction had made me feel. Even worse, I’m confident that he’d be happy about it had he known.

He could have so easily said nothing and I’d have been none the wiser, but he didn’t, and I was so taken aback and hurt. I’d been feeling pretty good throughout the day, but after that, I couldn’t seem to get it out of my mind.

Kilt of the day - A homophobe inducing Ross Modern Hunting Tartan

Soundtrack of the day - Sad Song - The Screaming Jets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2nMZ3XHG-U

Link of the day - day nineteen - enid blyton be damned - Kilt Life Crisis
The story of the start of being the subject of homophobia and bullying
https://www.kiltlifecrisis.com/journal/day-nineteen-enid-blyton-be-damned