day sixty-seven - writers blockhead
I’ve been having writers block - sort of. More specifically, I’ve been having writers paralysis. Too many thoughts, too many ideas, all trying to surface at the time and jamming up before they can come out.
My brain like patterns, numbers, bad puns (which are really the best puns), insignificant significances, correlations; all the good stuff. The problem being that if I see something about the number of the day, or the date, or a pattern in previous journals, or just something extra shiny, that can often trigger an idea for a journal entry. And then that sticks, even on a day where that’s not where my head’s at to be able to write about it. Or they may have been something really significant happening that day but I don’t feel I can do it justice, so I’ve been leaving it. Or, I may not have learned or researched enough, or I’ll not quite be able to finish properly, and it becomes a draft. Or. Or. Or.
All these things are not, in essence, good or bad. They just are. But when faced with the, frankly daunting prospect of writing something every day, these patterns can sometime be the flotsam I so desperately reach for. It can also be the thing that prevents me from writing every day.
What I’m doing now, playing catch up, writing out of chronological order, it doesn’t sit well. I couldn’t have fathomed it being an option earlier in the year (considering that I find it incredibly unnerving to walk clockwise around an oval rather than the ‘right’ way, or I have an unexplainable need to have the third piece of garlic bread first, this lack of brain flexibility shouldn’t be surprising).
In short, I’ve placed myself in a situation that sometimes feels like inevitable and impending doom. A situation in which, particularly when I’m feeling down or anxious, seems to be near impossible, and somewhat absurd to think that it even matters if I do or don’t complete. But I know that, even if no-one ever reads a word of this, should I be able to complete the year, I’ll have personally accomplished far more than I imagined possible.
So, desperate times call for desperate measures. It was never going to be perfect, and now, it’s already been late, and out of order. None of that I can change now, but by adapting, and attempting a different strategy, perhaps I can find a way to resolve the problems, reduce the stress, and find an alternative path to the same outcome.
It’s easy to get stuck. Stuck in a mindset. Stuck in old habits. Stuck in a pattern, pinned down by ideals and preconceived notions. Sometimes though, we need to eschew these things, even temporarily, because they don’t always work in our favour.
Kilt of the day - Mackay Sport Kilt
Soundtrack of the day - Paperback Writer - The Beatles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYvkICbTZIQ
Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Everyday I Write The Book
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1d4r9awjKE
Pun of the day - “Dad. Are we pyromaniacs?” - “Yes we are son”
