day forty-three - walk
Today has felt like my body isn’t on my side. Exhausted from a few nights ago, I’ve ached, cramped, and felt nauseated for much of the day.
I’d not walked for the past few days, and I’d been taking it easy to let my leg recover. Everything felt like I was going backwards, like any gains I’d made through January were being frittered away with inactivity and poor eating. And with that, the gentle, warm, familiar, and insidious blanket of depression started to creep up over my toes, across my chest, and settle in.
When the evening came, and everyone had gone to bed early, it looked for all money that I’d spend it in front of a screen, (probably accompanied by the dog, a bag of chips, and a side dish of mild self-loathing).
Instead, against my better judgement, I went out for a walk… and it felt terrible. I yearned for my couch, for my feet to stop aching, for my guts to stop churning. I’d have pushed a little kid off their bike and ridden home had I thought it would make the pain stop and bring an end to this terrible decision.
But then, something unexpected happened. I felt… better. Not yet good per se, but certainly better. As I continued walking, my headache subsided, my stomach began to feel human again, and my brain stopped being so self-critical. I started to see the situation of the past few weeks as understandable, and not something to beat myself up over (which, if it was an Olympic sport, I’d be pretty competitive at).
In the end, I’d done 16,000 steps in the day, and came home tired (but a good, well deserved tired, not a ‘you’re a lazy, binge watching piece of limp lettuce James’ tired). Most of my physical symptoms are gone, and the blanket of depression is lifted (or at least been pushed back to my toes), so as far as my personal experiment with my mental health and exercise - I’ll chalk that up as a win.
Kilt of the day - NEW Sport Kilt ‘Works Kilt’ in MacKay Tartan
Kilt of the walk - NEW Sport Kilt “Hiking Kilt’ in Black Stewart weathered
Cheesy Soundtrack of the day - The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbNlMtqrYS0
Heavy Soundtrack of the day - Pantera - Walk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkFqg5wAuFk
Funky Soundtrack of the day - Lettuce - The Force
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbAHpA-H17w
Link of the day - Exercise and Depression - The Black Dog Institute
https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/default-source/factsheets/exercise_depression.pdf?sfvrsn=8
