day one hundred and fifty-three - ungreat

It’s been a while since I posted. A sign of the times so to speak. So much has happened, and yet, there’s seemingly so little to say. It’s a strong indication that I’m not coping… and that’s really hard to accept.

Lately, I’ve been ungreat. It’s been an unusual period of depression. Usually, it feels quite removed and distant from what’s happening around me, almost like there’s something I’m missing out on as though one or more of my senses are numbed; a very insular sensation.

Now, it’s like the horrors of the world are being shown in more clarity than ever. The news affects me deeply, sometimes bringing me to tears, and is never far from my mind. As the world seems to burn, it’s a far more visceral experience of depression than I’m used to, with far less hope to cling to.

Try as I might, armed with the bravest face I can muster, I can’t turn my brain off. Instead, I’m running it into the ground, day after day and well into the night - ears ringing, head pounding, body aching. Whilst on one level I know it’s temporary, right now, there’s seemingly no respite… just another day waiting to be endured. I’m ok, but it sucks.

But at least it’s in a kilt.

Kilt of the day - Campbell of Argyle (a recent favourite as it’s currently the warmest one I own. I really, really need to get a traditional woollen kilt as soon as possible).

Soundtrack of the day - Watch the World Burn - Trivium
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB_Ertr-PuQ