day one hundred and thirty-four - idiot proof

“You absolute fool”. “What a dunce”. “OMG. What an absolute spanner”.

These, and so many more, are all things I say to myself, with disturbing regularity. Sometimes it’s warranted. I really can be an idiot, but I’m also really lousy at being kind to myself. Random acts of idiocy I can deal with (actually, that’s a lie… I don’t deal well with that at all), but systemic stupidity is so much worse.

So when I do something like locking myself out from my house for the umpteenth time, it’s inevitable that I’m going to feel like a microwaved thong that got plugged* - a warm pile of goo that isn’t much use to anyone. It’s not true. It’s an overaction, but the self-depricating wave is unavoidable, sometimes spiralling me for the remainder of the day. It’s hard to get it out of your head when you’ve just been saying those things to yourself, over and over.

Now I have a strategy. Since being in lockdown and working from home, I started to wear my house key around my neck on a retractable chain. It’s simple… possibly a little embarrassing for a middle aged man, but it works. Not once have I felt stupid for locking myself out. Not once have I been triggered into beating myself up about it.

It’s only one win in a life filled with idiocy, but I’ll take it.

“Viva la porte-clés!”

René Descartes - 1612
(probably)

Kilt of the day - Ross Modern Hunting Tartan

Soundtrack of the day - Lonely Boy - The Black Keys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_426RiwST8

Bonus Soundtrack of the day - Lock and Key - Rush
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLGgzN8Kd7Q

Link of the day - US Patent 20120153064
https://patents.google.com/patent/US20120153064

* to assist those who may be unfamiliar with the Australian vernacular, plugged thong = broken ‘flip-flop’