day sixty - update five
Today feels like a double yolker. The bonus day the year doesn’t normally get. The rare bird that so often gets away. The one day in 1460 others that is the proverbial hen smiling at you with a full rack of dentures, or when you have to clean up after your rocking horse.
60 days. 1,440 hours. 86,400 minutes, or 51,840,000 seconds. I say it all the time, but a lot has happened since the beginning of 2020. This however, is a short recap of the past 12 days;
Generally, my depression has been pretty darn good, with far more of the highs rather than lows.
Anxiety however, has been anything from sitting patiently in the background, to a fairly full bodied showing in the lead up to the gig and accompanying me onto stage.
On the back of this from the last update, “Experienced some of the worst performance anxiety I’ve had in over three years, almost resulting in a panic attack… but made it through.” I backed it up with as episode that didn’t quite topple it from its number one position, but did deserve a spot on the dais.
I performed at the Galah Bar playing with some amazing musicians.
There, I spoke nervously about the project and had an unbelievably warm reception.
I’ve had quite a lot of conversations with some wonderful people. People feeling positivity and acceptance. People opening up and trusting me with some very hard and personal stories. People acknowledging mental health as something that affects us all. People being kind.
It’s a lot to process, but it’s lovely that in some cases, it’s giving people a reason and permission to speak.
I’m missing my bike, so I may need to crowdsource some ideas and information on how best to ride in a kilt (preferably without getting it stuck in the rear wheel, tearing it asunder whilst you crash to the ground).
I’ve been obsessed with a song, “End of the Affair” by Ben Howard. Can’t seem to get enough of it, so I’m learning the guitar and double bass parts… and it’s still stuck in my head. It’s hauntingly beautiful and achingly sad.
Albury has “The Big Splash” coming up this Wednesday at the Albury Pool (though sadly I’m unsure if I’ll be able to attend). It’s the major fundraiser for Survivors of Suicide and Friends, and Headspace Albury/Wodonga, and it’s sensational to see so much support and engagement within the community. If you’re local, get down and get on board.
It’s a month to the day of the Beechworth to Bridge, 3 day, 75km walk for breaking the stigma of suicide.
They sent a training plan. Week one is;
Take a 6km walk daily. 👟
Walk the first 5kms at a fast pace. Time yourself and try to beat it next week. Cool down for the final 1km at a medium pace.3 sets of 10 squats - try it with some weights
3 sets of 20 walking lunges - try it with some weights
plank for 30 seconds x 5 times - keep your back straight and core engaged.
(P.S. I’m really not ready for that kind of commitment. Core? We’ve barely met, let alone be ready for engagement. Perhaps we could go out for tea and scones to become more acquainted?)
I haven’t been walking quite as much as I’d like, but it’s taken longer to get healthy than I accounted for (so perhapsI should cut myself some slack and get cracking when the body is more able).
I’ve been super slack on the daily posting. With the relentlessness of time, and my sporadic lack of discipline, I’ve been getting behind. Still, like many things of this ilk, I feel better for catching up. I feel less like I’m letting myself or anyone else down. And there’s a feeling of accomplishment, which is a nice sensation.
So… that’s the most recent 5th of the project and year. I’m sure I’ve missed a lot. but that’s at the very least, a smattering of what’s going on. Thanks for being a part of it!
Much Love!
Kilt of the day - Ross Modern Hunting Tartan
Link of the Day - The Big Splash
https://www.facebook.com/AlburyWodongaBigSplash/
Beechworth to Bridge
https://www.facebook.com/b2bridge/
Somehow yet funkier Soundtrack of the Day - It Gets Funkier III - Vulfpeck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3nl7IqZayg
Unsurprising soundtrack of the Day - Ben Howard - End of the Affair (live) - Later… with Jools Holland
